Can You Be Both Lovers & Friends?
For men, an ideal relationship would be being both friends and lovers at the same time. A man would happily become intimate with any one of his girl friends. Men also have the notion that a friendship with a woman can and will eventually lead to a romantic relationship. MAN, YOU ARE SO WRONG!
Men like to think that women are like them in the sense that they use friendships to kick start relationships or keep potential mates as friends in case or until they are ready. Men also like to think that if you become friends first, it will give you inner access to the woman so you can begin to work on her. MAN, YOU ARE SO WRONG AGAIN!
For women, being friends and lovers are two completely different things. One can lead to the other, but it is ultra rare. That is why it is so difficult to become more than friends with a woman that's been your friend for a long time. When you first engage and interact with a woman, she categorizes you as potential mate material or "other." If she categorizes you as other, it is very difficult to change her mind.
Unlike men, that'll get with anyone that shows a slight interest towards them, women first need to feel an emotional draw towards a man to get with them. Without this emotional draw, a woman will not classify you as potential lover material and you are doomed to be forever stuck in the friend zone.
This is also why it is so difficult to cross over from the friend zone into the lover zone with a woman. Without an emotional draw towards you, a woman will not simply get with you solely because you display an interest towards her. In her mind, you are a friend that she has no intimate emotions toward. If you attempt to bridge this gap, she will most likely feel repulsed and resentful.
So if you're friends with a woman and you want more, what can you do? Confess your love towards her? Treat her extra special? Be the best friend a person can ever have? Shower her with extravagant gifts and affection? Wrong! The super carefully guarded secret that relationship gurus charge exorbitant amounts of money for is this: You have to create an emotional spark within a woman to get her to like you. This emotion is not love or lust or an overwhelming desire to have your children. It is simply intrigue ...
So how do you create intrigue? You create intrigue by withholding attention and interest towards her. By pulling back and being aloof, you create a mysterious air about yourself that will get her thinking. Also, you raise your value by not pursuing the woman and you will appear less needy. If you've been acting like a super good friend to her and you suddenly switch tactics and withhold attention, the woman will have to work for YOUR attention.
Of course, the best thing to do is not get in the friend zone in the first place because contrary to popular belief, it is supremely difficult to escalate from the friend zone into the lover zone. The best way to not end up in the friend zone is quick escalation of kino, which means to break that touch barrier early. Unless you genuinely want a girl for a friend and nothing more, DO NOT become friends. From the beginning, create an emotional spark within her by being interesting and intriguing.
The super carefully guarded secret to getting any woman you desire is to first create an emotional draw and then to display a lack of interest. This makes the woman subconsciously want to pursue you. This is the famous pickup artist technique called, "push and pull."